Quiet Courage

Quiet Courage

There is a particular painting that holds my interest in terms of how my relationship to it has changed over time. Initially, I was rather excited about it- couldn’t believe that two figures appeared, quite unintentionally. However the more I looked at it, the more bothered I was that the figure in front didn’t carry herself more powerfully- that she had her head down, seeming so submissive. I stowed the piece out of sight under my easel, feeling the familiar feeling of dislike every time it surfaced as I was rummaging for something else.
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It wasn’t until 9 months later, in responding to a call for art related to fear, that I came to understand more of what this painting is about. In many ways, it reflects my imagining of what fear looks like, looming large over our shoulder, appearing to be made of the same substance that forms us. As Carrie Lee (RP) writes, “It terrifies us as it masquerades as our truth… Our fear is not our truth, rather it has consumed but a piece of truth to morph its form to present as wholly true.”
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Aware of the looming presence of fear walking behind her and the relentless questioning of her own being, the leading figure continues to put one foot in front of the other, steadily moving forward. One day, she will recognize that the strength of her spirit surrounds her. One day, she will understand that it has always been there and will support her when she decides to turn to face that which terrifies her- and perhaps even decide to dance.
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What has changed my relationship to this painting is the understanding that courage doesn’t always need to have the face of bravery or sheer power. Sometimes it’s putting one foot in front of the other despite it all.
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Nevertheless, She Persisted 
12"x12"
Acrylic on wood panel

This painting is part of a collaborative online project hosted by Co-Ex Collaborative House based in Ontario, Canada. It was a thought-provoking opportunity to respond to the writing of Registered Psychotherapist, Carrie Lee
It had me not only considering fear and my relationship to it, but also about meaning finding in the process of art making- how meaning can be obscured at the beginning, emerging over time. The body, I believe, has a way of knowing that is beyond words, and it can take the mind a while to catch up in its understanding. Carrie's words made all the difference in this process. 

Click the following link to read Carrie's preface and to see the work of all the artists who contributed to this project: Co-Ex Collection 3: Fear, Fuel of the Wild Heart
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Feel free to leave your own response below. I'd love to hear from you! 
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